Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are the jesus of drinking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
