he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
