Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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