i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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