I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
