the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Two words: nipple clamps
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