I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
