I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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