Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
