I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
