hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
