I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize