The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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