hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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