dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
