No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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