The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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