# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
