I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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