Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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