people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
