We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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