hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
