Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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