Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
