Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
