While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
