yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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