i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
