I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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