WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
