I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
