Kiss
Puke
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
