wat bout pragnant strippers??
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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