So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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