I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Randomize
