she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
