Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
