I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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