new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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