his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
