How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
