why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize