so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
