And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
