Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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