my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
