i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
