Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize