so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
