It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
