My balls are so social today.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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