the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
