dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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