Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
