Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there's paper in my vomit.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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